How to raise a confident child?



The above topic is so captivating that many of us, ‘The parents’ would want to click on the article right away and like to know the exact ‘What’s, How’s, Do’s and Don’ts’s? ‘of raising a confident child. We want a readymade recipe to work immediately.  Unfortunately, we are so used to taking advices that we have actually stopped listening to our heart.

Firstly, shall it be a good start that we ask ourselves a very sensible question?


 “Why is that I want my child to be confident?”.


If the answer is because,

  • I want my child to achieve accomplishments and succeed in life
  • I want my child to be better than the others, excel in everything he/she does
  • Confidence is very much required for him/her to lead a particular lifestyle
  • The world is very competitive, therefore being confident will help him to compete effectively

Then, I am afraid this article will not interest you much. But, instead if your heart says,

  • I want my child to lead a well- balanced and a holistic life. confidence is one of the important tool for a harmonious being
  • I want my child to be aware that, being confident doesn’t mean success always. Because, being successful is not the goal in itself.
  • Believing in one’s abilities in spite of failures and successes.
  • Trusting and confiding in parents

The article may ring a bell in one’s ears. Now, let’s dissect the bona- fide meaning of the trait ‘Confidence’.

Confidence is a state of emotional well- being. This state of emotional and mental harmony helps to influence self and others (leader) into a symphonic life. A confident person believes in himself and expects no green signal from others for his abilities. He is like a well blossomed scented flower with many petals which contribute to the sacrosanct delight. Hence, a few below petal layers in building a confidence are discussed.

  1. Raise yourself before you raise your child – Sadguru.

Parents are the first teachers to the children. We need to sink in the fact as early as possible that kids observe and follow the parents. THEY ARE DEAF EARED MOST OF THE TIME on THE Do’s and Don’ts’s.

It is certainly a tough world, and our children have to make their way out in a crowded place. But, shall we leave it for them to figure out what kind of place this world is! let them create their own space. Instead of meddling with their day to day activities and ceasing their confidence. What an asset it would be for our children if we, in order to raise a confident child will provide an environment for them to think, question, fail and blossom. How wonderful it would be if we set ourselves as an example, behave and act in such a way that a child takes us as a role model.


  1. For a child to be confident, one of the most important factor is Trust. A child has to trust his parents, and has to feel confident enough to confide his feelings. This trust the child has in his parents will make him comfortable and confident. The child will believe that the parents are there with him for who he is, and not what he will become. This can bring an overall development in children’s personality. Therefore, it is a wise idea to think twice before making negative statements about anything.


  1. We are all in a world busy catering to the incessant demands of our lives. Never ending desires, ambitions, insecurities and material comforts have concealed us.

Have we become quite oblivious to what is happening around and within us? Whilst, busy making children independent are we making them aloof and alone? A real challenge for us the ‘parents’ who hardly get a minute to be ourselves, is spending quality time with the children.

A time spent by doing activities together like reading books, singing, gardening, drawing and painting etc. brings the best in the child. He shall feel more confident and involved with the parent. I hope not that there is a day which I fear that, ‘our tablets, gadgets, and e-media will take place of us’ and our kids will need us no more for emotional security


  1. Initial ten years in a child’s life is all about daunting inquisitiveness and their bombarding questions. Let us not forget that we were doing the exact same thing when we were kids. Somewhere our parents might have patiently answered most of the questions, sometimes they would have been embarrassed with some of our questions and they chided us. Expecting more questions from a child and embarrassments will help us to gear ourselves with the armor. The more they ask questions, the more confident a child can be. Also, in the background these never-ending questions can make us be a patient parent and a better human being. Because, we would tend to see the world in the whole new view and dimension. But, with the revolution in digital media and search engines the information is easily available to the children these days. It can be a herculean task for a parent to compete with the WIKI.


  1. Sometimes wonder why there is so much pressure to be a parent these days. That too ‘ideal/good parent’. Have we lost ourselves and are too busy in proving the world and ourselves that we are good and caring? Why is there always a class (karate, tennis, boxing, swimming…) and a tuition a child has to attend, at the cost of their playtime? The kid is expected to do good in his studies and also excel in these extra-curricular stuff. No one has ever become great attending these many classes without their heart being into them. May be some percentage of them have but, is this the goal, really! Isn’t it a good idea that we spend some time and figure out the burning desire of a child what he wants to do, if we observe carefully even a 3-year-old has his interests sorted out. We adults have burdened our lives with extra baggage’s, let us not ruin their confidence and carefree attitude.


  1. Globalization has been making waves these days, there is exchange of knowledge in all forms and directions. We Indians are representing India on a larger scale on global platform like never before. One of the very important contributor in a man’s self- confidence is knowing his county well enough so that he can add value to the image ‘India’. The philosophy of the great nation, it’s heritage, it’s history and back falls are very much required for a person to feel content. A person’s sense of pride will suffice only when he will know the country well and believes that he has a future in this country in-spite of its pitfalls.


From some of the above discussions it is very evident we the parents contribute more to the children’s confidence than we believe to do so. We shall all take a chance and guide our children right from a young age to be confident.  rather than spending bucks on personality development programs in future. By helping our children in leading a harmonious life we are catering to the responsibility of creating a wonderful society.

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About preethiarjunagi

Trying to connect myself with the inner writer and unleash the experiences of life which is otherwise lost in this busy world .
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